Receiving a message
Today I was writing in my journal and I found myself questioning many things -- what's the meaning behind the experiences that I'm having? What's the lesson I'm meant to be learning? Why have I been experiencing all these feelings of blockages, struggles, and dead ends? Am I failing or is this exactly what it needs to be?
The answers seemed to be alluding my human brain. So, then, I asked for help. I acknowledged that I don't have the answers, and I do need help. I said a little prayer and picked up my pen, and a message of wisdom came through loud and clear: To let go of certainty and the known is hard. But you've done it over and over again. In fact, you are a master at it, a master at adaptability and flexibility. It's in your soul code. This is your training ground. That is why this is happening now. You are safe and protected and loved. All is well, everything will be OK. Your work now is to aid the creation of the new world that is being born. To let go of your attachment to the old and trust the the path before you will be provided. All that you need will be provided. Trust that all is well. Your work is the creation of the new. You see it. Be the voice of that, now. Now. A note about whispers and intuition and writingAnd then my intuition told me to write. Now. And so I am. I believe that when we listen to whispers of wisdom, we can go places that our brains cannot conceive of on their own. And yes, whispers of wisdom show up when I sit down to write. Today I was writing for about 30-40 minutes before that wise whisper came. And before that, there were pages upon pages of of bitching, moaning and complaining that wanted to come out. I learned from Julia Cameron that that's the way of it. She teaches in the Artist's Way that when we sit down to write "morning pages" each day, unfiltered and uncensored, that we get stuff out of the way until we hear the quieter voice that is usually drown out by all the crap. I haven't written in weeks. But it still happened, today, and for that I am grateful. A voice of the newI know that I see the world in a certain way. I see it differently than many people do, and I realize that I am not alone in my seeing.
There are many of us who see that we are in the midst of amazing times. I see a spirit emerging in our times, a spirit that is changing how people see their lives, see the world, and go about their lives. It's an awakening. It's a pull toward things that matter. It's a desire to be alive, a desire for quiet and clarity, an urge to use our individual abilities toward a bigger good. It's an urge that we cannot ignore, because it's too painful to continue business as usual. This urge compels us to look within and examine what's going on in there (in ourselves). What have we believed, what have we accepted as true that is no longer working for us? What do we want NOW? How is that different from what we hear on TV, the news, in popular culture, in the seemingly omnipresent sayings that repeat themselves in our heads over and over, creating a seeming truth from mere snippets we've picked up along the way? The new invites us to do things a different way. The new demands this of us, actually. And I am not afraid to say that -- it does demand that we do things differently. Otherwise, we stay the same. The new demands us to look at our connections to one another as rich and important and crucial. It demands of us to look at one another as a vast resource that we must use wisely, not thoughtlessly anymore. Because there is so much available to us that we are not seeing, that we are not using, that we are not tapping into to create something better. Our struggles, when experienced in the context of the old world, will always be that -- struggle. Difficult. Mazes without an exit. Unsolvable problems when we play by the old rules of the game. What's needed nowThis is what I know to be true: Collaboration is what's needed now. Connection is needed now. Conversations are needed now. Truth-telling is needed now. Sharing our desires, sharing what matters, getting it out in the open so it can take form. That is needed now.
When we accept the old world as true and keep our truths, our dreams, our knowings inside, we are hiding them, we are suppressing them. We are preventing them from living lives that would aid the creation of the new. The birth of something better, something more aligned with what we know in our hearts is a better way. The new is already here -- there are feelings and inkings and desires and visions that point us there. We may ignore them or not have words for them yet, but their existence is undeniable. That's what I'm here today to share: The seeds of the new are growing, they are pushing their way to the surface.
And it's OK. It's scary as hell, confusing, frustrating, maddening even to feel the creative tension between What Was and What Will Be. But all is well. My sincere hope is that my voice gives you a moment of solace. That these words are a place to rest your weary heart for a beat, that you are not alone. That in spite of it all, we are exactly where we need to be, and there is much good work to be done. And we will do it together. Much love, Lisa
Hello my friends, it's our last day, Day 28 of Experiments in Love.
For whatever way you showed up in this space for these experiments, I thank you. Maybe you popped in a few times this month, maybe you popped in a few times a week, or read through them at length.
Whatever it was, thank you for focusing your mind and your heart on love. Any amount is important.
So many of us humans want the same things in the world: Happiness, safety, good health, a feeling of satisfaction/fulfillment, and the love of important people in our lives (family, friends).
I believe that love is the thread that runs through those fundamental human desires. When we focus on love and creating it in our work, our relationships, and our lives, we are happier. If we build communities of love (whether it's family, neighborhood, at school, in countries or in a global sense), our world will be a safer place. A healthier place. A more fulfilling place. And our human relationships can nourish us, can support our expression of our best selves, and pick us up when we feel broken.
I hope that this month provided you with some opportunities to contemplate love in ways that you might not otherwise have thought about. And put those contemplations into action in various ways in the world.
So, for our final experiment:
Experiment #28: Choose one word that captures your intention around love in the coming days, weeks and months.
I invite you to hold an intention around the love you create in the world. Because you are a powerful, powerful being.
Our intentions matter. The words we choose to describe our lives guide our lives. What we choose to focus on creates your experience of life, and how you interact with others.
My word for now is WHOLENESS.
Wholeness. That's where this month has brought me -- looking at the whole. The whole of our individual human selves, and the whole of humanity at large. The whole of our world, and the infinite complexities and parts and how they all work together. There is no separation if we look close enough. And love is a huge connecting, universal, all-powerful force on this planet of ours.
I have no answers, no conclusions from these experiments. But I do know one thing: We are infinitely capable of creating love in this world. And we must do so.
We must love, be love, come from love, give permission to others to love through our words and actions.
Love points us toward our wholeness. It's the way we'll live our best lives and allow others to do the same.
Sending you lots and lots of love today (& every day),
Hello friends, welcome to Day 27 of Experiments in Love.
As this month of experiments winds down, I notice that I'm looking for love all over the place lately.
Let's be honest, life has it's ups and downs. As humans, we feel anger, sadness, frustration, pain, hopelessness (what does hopelessness feel like?? a complete lack of energy??), despair, grief. And much more.
There are losses, there are failures, there are low moments. We all have them. They are tough, and often really suck.
But does this mean there is no love in those moments?
Of course not.
I think love is always there, even when we don't think it is.
It's there in pain. It's there when we show the multitude of parts of ourselves to other humans. This isn't about "being weak." It's about opening our hearts, and saying, "This is me, and I'm feeling ____ right now."
I'll admit: I'm not good at this. I don't like to admit to myself that I'm feeling (insert feeling here: scared/incompetent/sad/overwhelmed/etc./etc.) until the pain of ignoring that feeling becomes unbearable.
We're only human. These feelings do not define us. They do not determine our worth. But they're a part of us, part of the human experience.
We are always loved, no matter what we're going through. The miracle of our existence is not dependent on how strong we can be, in order to be seen some way in the world. It's not dependent on anyone.
And....sharing our broken hearts with another is a path to love. A glance, an embrace, a witnessing. It all comes from love.
As human creatures, we can feel frightened sometimes. And in those moments of frightened-ness, the love of another human creature can go a long way. I guess that's what I'm sayin' today!
Experiment #27: Witness the Love in the sadness/fear/anger of another human creature.
Remember: We are always loved, no matter what we're going through.
Welcome wild hearted friends! It's Day 26 of Experiments in Love.
In our busy, busy, busy lives, it can be hard to create love in the world. Especially when you've got someone asking you to do it everyday, right?! ;-)
For today, let's look at the spaces between. Look for love that exists without making anything happen. Look for what's always there, especially in relationships with others.
Love. Is. Always. There.
(c) diongillard - creative commons
And expect to be surprised! Love might be in a beautiful, fleeting moment. In a drop of water, in a glance, a small touch.
Look for love in the spaces, and you will discover something, for sure.
Lots of love,
Hello friends, Welcome to Day 25 of Experiments in Love.
You know those moments when you’re “in” your experience of life, as it is happening? Your mind isn’t remembering something from the past or thinking about what may happen in the future. You’re totally tuned into what’s happening right now.
Like when a baby smiles at you. Like when you’re in the woods and it’s so quiet you can hear the birds. Like when your lover told you “I love you” for the first time.
My hypothesis for this experiment is that being present or being in “the Now” (as Eckhart Tolle calls it) is directly related to how much we can experience and create love in the world.
Love is a connection. It’s an experience of being. Experiencing and creating love in this moment, especially in relationship with another human being, invites us into that connection.
To be present to that connection is a conscious choice. Because many things can take us away from it. Our human minds, for example, make up a lot of stuff that disconnects us from another humans.
Our judgments, our fears, our not-wanting-to-be-hurt. Our worries about what-will-happen, our stories, our histories, our wounds, our assumptions. All of them keep us feeling separate. All of them are made up. All of them are based in the past or an imagined future.
Our complex human brains are experts at living in the past or making up the future. It’s what we do. Trying to understand, using memories to predict what will happen to we can feel safe.
These mind-gymnastics take us away from experiencing the present with freshness, clarity and our full creative power.
(c) argenberg - creative commons
Our memories or fantasies affect our experience of Now. They influence how we see and experience other people, they cause us to overlook things that happen (because we’re looking for things that support with our memory or our fantasy), they prevent the magic of life to unfold unhindered. Experiment #24: Be Present (To Love) Now
Being present to Now is to be connected with what is actually happening, without judgment, without the past or future dominating our guiding our actions.
When we’re present to what is
, we can look anew, to see what’s actually happening and interact with that
rather than taint it with a hangover of the past or an imagined future.
The good news is that each moment is an opportunity to come back from the past or future, and see Now with clear eyes. We can create new mental habits that break us away from our memory-based pasts and assumption-creating futures.
Here are a few starting points to practice Being Present Now:
- Notice your breathing. Put your attention onto each in-breath and out-breath and simply follow your breath. When thoughts, memories or fears distract you, just come back to the sensation of your breath.
- Use your senses – what are you feeling, smelling, hearing, tasting right now? Experience the sensations without judging them as good or bad, right or wrong. Tune into your sensory perceptions without getting hooked into a story that your mind will want to spin.
- Check out Eckhart Tolle’s books A New Earth or The Power of Now – they are both fantastic and provide an accessible yet profound exploration of presence and the Now.
When you’re practicing presence with another person (your beloved, a friend, a co-worker, a complete stranger), be aware of the connection that is happening in the moment.
Feel that connection more deeply and notice what loving urges are available as you are present to the connection – opportunities to be kind, to listen, to express love, to speak a difficult truth out of love, to touch the person lovingly, or simply allow them to be seen and heard with your presence.
(This is a rare rare
thing!! And a tremendous gift!) If your body is here and your mind is in the past or the future, you are nowhere
. We’re not connected. When we are present to Now, we can actually be connected to the person in front of us. We experience a richness that is not available if we are otherwise torn in the past or future.
Get present today. Breathe. Let judgments and stories pass through your mind without hooking you onto them. Focus on your senses. Use your eyes to connect. Touch. Say what’s in your heart.
Lots of love,
Hello friends, welcome to Day 24 of Experiments in Love.
For today, just rest. Rest in whatever you feel, rest in whatever love show itself to you today. Just be in it.
Much love to you,
Hello wild hearted friends! It's Day 23
of Experiments in Love
. This week we're looking at love + others and what's possible there. Honoring our human sameness
, expressing love without words
, love + family
and loving touch
are some experiments thus far in this arena.I also believe
that we can lovingly ask
for the love we want. When we love ourselves, we can make loving requests. And we can generously ask others about how they
want to be loved too. On Day 8 I invited us to take a quick quiz to determine what your Love Language is. (Click HERE to take the quiz if you missed it on Day 8!) Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages goes into more depth about each of the languages and how knowing our love language can enrich our lives and relationships, but the short version is:
When you know your love language (and your beloved's love language), you can take practical steps to express that "language" and truly love another person in ways that they will deeply feel loved. So today's experiment is: Experiment #23: Share Your Love LanguageWords of Affirmation
Acts of Service
It makes sense, right? If your love language is Quality Time, which is all about undivided attention, and the person who wants to give you love keeps giving you gifts or compliments (words of affirmation), you may still crave that person's attention, presence and connection -- not the gifts or compliments.
Conversely, if your love language is Receiving Gifts, and the person giving you love keeps wanting to hug you (physical touch) and compliments, that person is not "speaking your language." You know?
So, my hypothesis today is that when we know our own love language, we can lovingly tell others in our lives what makes us feel most loved....that way, at least they know! Or, we could get more specific and tell our loved one precisely what makes you feel loved.
It might look something like this:
"Dear one, I so appreciate the little gifts that you bring home for me. It's so thoughtful and caring. And, I took this neat quiz online today and found out that my love language is Acts of Service. I realized that it's the reason I feel so special and cared for when you do the dishes without me even asking. Or when you made dinner that night I came home late as a special surprise. I would have had to do those things myself, and the fact that you're paying attention and doing those things makes me know that you care about me deeply. I love you."
There's no right or wrong here. It's a brave thing to open up and say what's true for you. Doing it in a loving way will help the person you're telling to understand that nothing they've done is "wrong," but there may be a straighter path to your heart!
So today, take the 5 minute quiz to determine your love language, and share it with someone who loves you. It will help you both to be more clear about what language you're speaking :) And notice what happens!
Lots of love,
Hello dear friends! It's Day 22
of Experiments in Love
. For the last days of the month, we're going to be looking at love in relation to other humans. As I said on Day 20: Love is more than a Hallmark card or a romantic comedy. Love is an innately natural and fundamental human experience, from the time we're little itty bitty babies.
Let's go back in time for a moment....To the love your mother gave you as a baby. There's nothing like a mother's love -- the gift of life itself, the care and protection and nurturing that we receive as infants that allows us to survive and grow and become the people we become. That relationship will change throughout life, and the expression
of that love may be different, but I believe there is something about a mother's love that never will change -- the essence of it is unshakable.
I am blessed to have an incredible mother, and no matter what, I know how deeply and unconditionally she loves me.
my mom & me
The depth of connection in that love between mother and baby is profound. That love is communicated simply and clearly -- through words, through life-giving exchange of vitamins (milk, feeding), through care, and through touch.
Touch. I'm curious about the many ways love can be expressed through touch as we grow older.
As babies, we're carried, cradled, rocked.
As children we're held, hugged, snuggled, comforted.
As we get older, we hug and hold hands.
In more intimate relationships there are other kinds of touch. Spooning, cuddling, leaning, resting, more snuggling.
And in many more ways, of course. These are just starting points.
Experiment #22: Express Your Love Through Touch
Now, let's be clear: Loving touch is not the same as sexual touch. I know you know this, but it's worth saying again because it's an important distinction. Sex and physical intimacy can certainly be an expression of love. And, it's not always the case.
You can express love and care for a person with a simple touch to their elbow, their knee, their arm.
Steadying an elder with a supportive hand as they walk is a loving touch.
Rocking a baby to sleep is an expression of loving touch.
A hand on a friend's back as they go through difficult time can be a loving touch.
And...one of my personal favorites is a good old fashioned HUG.
(c) edenpictures - creative commons
Hug someone today! And hug with love. Your intention matters here. As you hug, think about your human sameness. Think about this being with skin and clothes who moves through the world as you do. Think about your hearts connecting.
One of my favorite hugs is a heart-to-heart hug -- when you go to the right side of the person as you face them. This matches your heart with their heart on the left side. And stay in that hug for a little longer than usual. Really send the person love as you hug them.
Or choose another way of expressing love through touch. Experiment. Notice what you feel. Notice your impact on the other person. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. It's all good when it comes to experimenting with love.
Lots of love,
Hey all! It's Day 21 of Experiments in Love.
Can you believe it? 3 weeks of LOVE experiments? How do you feel different?
I find myself looking for new faces of love in new places. Pretty cool.
Let's look for love in Family today.
Experiment #21: Notice what this video about Love & Family evokes in you
Here's some **awesome** inspiration!
It's 4 mins 28 seconds that will touch something deep inside your heart:
Hello friends, it's Day 20
of Experiments in Love
. I've been avoiding "loving others"
explicitly in our experiments so far. One of the reasons I'm so interested in doing these experiments is because I want to help us to expand our definition of love. Love is more than a Hallmark card.
It's more than loving your significant other.
It's more than a romantic comedy. So for the last 8 days of our experiments, I want to look at how we love in relation to other people.
Tomorrow we'll talk about the powerful love of Family. First, today, I want to share a video that captures the essence of some of our recent experiments -- especially finding our human sameness, and showing love without words. The man in this video, Narayanan Krishna, is creating a lot of love in the world through his connection to his purpose, manifested through his work and the work of his organization, Akshaya Trust, which brings hot meals (& way more) to India's homeless and destitute. This man has taken LOVE to an amazing level of generosity, service and purpose. It's 2 minutes and 48 seconds that
will inspire our hearts:
Experiment #20: Search your heart -- What needs of the world are you moved to meet?
Because love just isn't about ourselves. It's about connection and sharing and giving.
And when you have some idea about a need in the world that moves you, you can begin to do something about it.
Maybe the need you feel moved to meet has to do with hungry people, or something completely different. It can be anything. One starting point: What pains you when you see it? Children not having school supplies? Animals who are abused? The wisdom of the elderly not being passed onto others? Long grass at the park down the street? Trees being cut down for development? The oceans being polluted?
Anything, anything, anything! Just notice what in the world you feel moved to do something about.
I feel moved to create space for people to be truly themselves and fan the flame of their natural brilliance to go forth in the world and do what matters most to them. And this little blog is one expression of that. And I hold a dream of making videos and movies that teach us how to love in an infinite range of ways.
Let me know what needs of the world you feel moved to act on. Do share in the comments!
Lots of love,