_What’s Really Going On?
A friend and fellow coach reminded me of this question last week.
As a coach it’s my job to look deeper at what’s really going on with my clients. To go beyond the excuses, the roadblocks and the reasons you think you can’t do what you truly want to do. It’s my job to listen, to be intuitive, to be curious, and forward your action and deepen you learning. It’s my job to help my clients access a new level of yourself that taps into your true potential.
As a human being living my life, I also ask myself this question when I notice that I’m having a strong emotional reaction or “acting out” my emotions rather than speaking to them. I ask myself this question when I want to avoid something (a person, a situation), or when I’m certain I’m “right.”
When strong stuff is coming up for you, I invite you to pause and ask yourself: What’s really going on here? _ Chances are, it’s not what you think. The good news is that if you go to that deeper layer you can deal with whatever it is more directly.
I save myself a lot of turmoil when I go the direct route to what’s really going on? rather then getting caught up in stories, assumptions and things made up. I can still have my emotional response and feel it fully, but I can get to the heart of the matter when I take this next step.
Where do you want to explore What's Really Going On? The expert skills of a coach can help. Email me and let's chat!
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
_What is Needed?
You can ask yourself this question in any moment.
The answer may be small or huge.
The answer may be personal or universal.
Maybe you need some rest. Maybe you need to speak what’s on your mind.
Maybe your family needs less TV tonight.
Maybe your church needs your leadership on a project.
Maybe your whispers about preserving the environment need to be turned into a doable action.
Maybe your life purpose is calling you to make a change. _
To Find Out What is Needed:
(Time = 3 minutes)
Sit down comfortably, close your eyes and breathe in and out normally. Breathe into any tension you feel in your body, breathe that tension out and let it melt away. Sit in silence for a few moments, continuing to follow your breath. Let any thoughts pass through your mind like clouds in a sky without hanging onto them.
When it feels right, ask: What is needed Now?
Pause. Wait.
Pay attention to whatever comes up – images, words, thoughts, anything. Be open to surprises. These internal whispers will tell you the answer.
After you get an answer, take a few more breaths and open your eyes.
Lastly, do something about what came up. No matter what it is. Write it down. Tell someone. Take care of a need you have. Take at least one small action.
You know what’s needed. Just listen.
Knowing what’s needed is the first step toward inspired action.
What came up when you listened to what’s needed?
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
_Getting Risky With It
What is your relationship with risk?
- Do you avoid it at all costs, always choosing the safe bet?
- Do you take too many risks, costing yourself time, money and energy when things go awry and you have to pick up the pieces?
- Do you see risk as a critical component of your growth as a human being?
Disclaimer: I don’t have any answers. I’m not advising you to go off and make a bunch of risky decisions. I’m pointing you to looking closer look at your perspective on risk.
I raise this topic because I notice when I’m playing it safe. I notice when people limit their opportunities because the new thing they are considering is perceived as “risky” and not guaranteed. I notice how we keep ourselves closed off to certain things because we are afraid.
Google “risk” and this definition will pop up: “expose (someone or something valued) to danger, harm, or loss.”
Yikes, no wonder we avoid risk so much.
Here’s an alternative definition of risk: Going outside your comfort zone in ways that are new and uncertain.
This definition doesn’t sound quite as hazardous as “exposure to danger.” Yet our lizard brain doesn’t know the difference. Our lizard brain is the prehistoric part of our brains that tries to keep us alive at all costs and is responsible for the fight or flight response. Our lizard brain hates when we go outside what is known and certain. It gets all riled up and wants you to steer clear of risk! No risk! NO RISK! _
No wonder it’s so easy to choose the non-risky route. But there's a cost when you do.
My point here is simple: Staying inside our comfort zones, where things are predictable and certain, is not going to serve you as you take responsibility for creating the life you truly want.
Your ___[insert emotion here]___ with your comfort zone is why you’re probably reading my blog right now anyway! If you’re feeling annoyed, frustrated, stifled, bored, etc. it probably means your comfort zone is too small for how big you want to grow.
So take a look at your relationship with risk. Where are you avoiding uncharted territory? What’s the cost of playing it safe?
What could be possible if you overrode your lizard brain and took a risk that you’ve been avoiding?
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
_Time to Rest
How often are you giving yourself time to rest? And no, I’m not talking about just sleeping for 6-7 hours a night!
How often are you giving your mind a break – without TV, without distractions, without phone or internet? Even for a few moments?
How often are you allowing your thoughts to move through your mind without hanging onto them and following each one?
How often are you allowing yourself to do nothing? No rushing, no doing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you could use more time to rest. _ This week I learned about a practice called “intentional resting” and I *so* want to share it with you.
Resting intentionally has changed my week. It's been awesome.
At the heart of the practice is resting, instead of relaxing. “Relax” is actually an active word, an action that you have to try to do. Resting has a different energy to it.
This week I’ve been resting when I notice that I’m feeling tense or experiencing twangs of tightness in my body. Or when I’m just wanting to calm my mind. Or when I’m doing doing doing for several hours and know that I need to slip into being for a while.
To rest intentionally, try this simple exercise:
- Get in a comfortable position, sitting or laying down.
- Breathe normally and tune into your body, feel your body from the inside out.
- Notice where you are feeling any tension (neck, back & shoulders are a great place to start).
- Pinpoint a place where you are feeling the tension or pain and focus your attention there.
- Silently in your mind say, “I am resting for my _____ right now.” And pause for a few seconds. Example,I am resting for my lower back right now.
- Wait a few seconds and say it again while focusing on that area.
- Then scan your body again and notice a different area where you are feeling tension or tightness. Repeat, giving as much time as you’d like to rest for that area of your body.
- Repeat for all areas that you feel tension, giving each area as much time as feels right for the resting.
- When you have rested for different areas of your body individually, you can expand your intention to rest: I am resting for my whole body right now.
- Give yourself a few moments of pause.
- I am resting for my mind right now.
- Pause.
- I am resting for all my emotions right now.
- Pause.
- I am resting for my whole being right now.
- If you choose, you can also rest for others using the same practice.
- I’m resting for my mother right now.
- I’m resting for the whole world right now.
When I practice resting intentionally for just a few short minutes, I feel truly rested, for sure. A much deeper level of rest. And relaxation, too. Tension and tightness in my body let go and feel soooo much better. My mind feels relaxed. My body feels relaxed. I feel calm and centered.
I invite you to give it a try, and to share your experience in the comments :-)
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
Me, On Purpose
I’m heading back to the east coast this morning after spending an amazing long weekend in San Francisco.
This weekend, with the women who joined us for Dreaming Infinite Possibilities, I got to be myself. The retreat day was nurturing, powerful and full of fun surprises. I stretched into deep learning. I stretched into new levels of communication and partnership with my co-leader who has been with me every step of the way on the wild ride of creating the retreat that into being this weekend. I stretched into creating something for others that was a true expression of my life purpose. I stretched into more and more my own authenticity.
The energy in the room, the connections that were made, the hugs that were shared, the dreams that took shape – they filled my heart and soul until I was fully content.
Each one was a message for me that said, Yes, you’re on the right path. You’re doing what you’re meant to do. It's a beautiful thing. Keep on goin' girl.
 view from the redwood grove outside our retreat site :) Sometimes it’s as simple as that.
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
_Embracing What's Here Now
This weekend I'll be in San Francisco, co-leading a retreat for women called Dreaming Infinite Possibilities. This weekend is the culmination of a dream that's been in the making for a while now, first in my imagination, then with a small group of women in an NYC coffee shop 15 months ago, then through choices I made to expand the vision, and most recently in the planning of the day across the country from where I live. I look forward to telling you more about it next week!
What's on my mind today is embracing the experience and what I'm experiencing now.
I had a conversation with one of my mentors last night. I asked for her advice and insight as to what I should be doing and how I should be being in the couple of days leading up to the retreat when I'll be traveling and taking care of last minute logistics with my co-leader.
She said: "You got what you wanted. Now, embrace it."
The embracing part is new for me. Embracing means noticing the meaning of this time and really taking it into my heart. I will be be with this question of meaning in the next few days. Right now, what I know is that deep inner knowing about what I'm meant to do has lead me to where I am today. Persistence and faith has moved me closer to what I know I want. And the strength of that knowing has carried me through. It's amazing really, because until a few years ago I would have had no idea what it meant to be guided by a deep inner knowing. No concept whatsoever. And now I do. So I want to relish that shift, appreciate it, savor it. Savor that I'm also helping people connect with and strengthen their own deep inner knowing in their lives.
And I am at peace. Even when there's a lot to do, even when money is on my mind, even when I don't know exactly what I'm going to be doing in two months, or how I'll accomplish what I have planned for a year from now, I am at peace. Because I know it will all work out.
I am embracing that peace right now, and trusting that it will be a miraculous weekend.
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
_ Speak Your Dreams To get clear about what you want and to see more possibilities in your life, simply talk about your dreams. Just talk. Birth your dreams into the world through your vocal cords and mouth. Don’t keep them locked up in your mind. Make them real with sound and vibration. Be positive. Support your dreams, love your dreams as you share them with others. Choose supportive ears as you’re just starting off. (No naysayers yet.) The goal here is to share your dreams, not defend them. To breathe life into them, not choke them off just as they’re being born. Ask for help seeing more possibilities for your dreams. Get used to describing what you want. Talking about your dreams will help you process your desires, move you further along in your thinking and help you get more specific about what exactly you’re wanting. Talk with me about your dreams in a coaching session and take a quantum leap in exercising your dreaming muscle (it’s one of my favorite things to help my clients do!). Socialize your dreams. Get people used to them. Get them used to people. You never know when someone else can help you open a door, make an introduction that changes your path, or cheers you on when your dream needs it most. Make your dreams more real by talking about them. What dream of yours wants to be heard? Yours in wildness~~ Lisa
_Seeing Possibilities
Earlier this week I wrote about knowing what you want. Knowing what you want is an important step in consciously creating your own destiny.
When you’re getting clear on what you want, make sure you’re looking into a future of many many MANY possibilities. Don’t limit yourself to what you think it possible now. Expand those possibilities wildly!
What level of possibility is your mind open to right now? What level of possibility is your heart open to? _ Let’s look at a sample situation many of us find ourselves in: Wanting a change in our career or our job. When you think about making that change, what are you hoping for? A lateral move? A work environment that is different/better than your current job? An incremental and well-deserved salary increase? For your job to be closer to your home? More time off to be with your family?
Don’t get me wrong – these reasons are all valid and admirable possibilities. Nothing wrong at all.
AND, what if there’s more? What other possibilities could be out there?
What if there is a different area of your current field that could put your talents to better use in a way? How could you take a big jump toward a work experience that would be more rewarding? What if you could be passionate about what you’re doing (or something else you really want to do)? What if you made a move to a different location that opened up a whole new set of opportunities was available? What if that dream to teach English in Vietnam was more than a dream? Or that dream to write your novel?
What if those “dreams” were actually real possibilities?
I’m here to tell you that they are.
We tell ourselves lots of stories about what is possible, and make assumptions about the many things that we perceive as being impossible. We tell ourselves what can and can’t happen in a “recession” and because of all the constraints we have on our time.
If you hear that the “job market is tough right now” and believe it, that becomes the “reality” that guides your sense of possibility and your choices.
What would be different if you believed that “all it takes is one right position to take my career in a new direction”? I’d bet that you’d probably start seeing more possibilities to you than if you believe the “tough market” story.
It's TRUE that possibilities do not always equal immediate viable opportunities that you have to choose from on this given day.
AND, there is a big amazing world with infinite possibilities beyond our typical storybook.
__Possibilities are things that could happen. They may not seem “realistic” right now, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be done.
Possibilities are key to making your life what YOU want it to be. Being able to imagine new possibilities and being able to continue to expand the realm of what is possible is KEY to living the life you’re meant to live. A life that goes beyond the mundane, beyond the conventional, beyond the conveyor belt pumping out prefabricated lives.
So go wild with thinking about what’s possible! There’s nothing too big as you begin to condition your possibilities muscle. The bigger the better – because when you get into the realm of the fantastical you begin to see how small your view once was. And from there, the door is open to incredible things.
What ELSE is possible in your life?
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
Possibilities are key to making your life what YOU want it to be. Being able to imagine new possibilities and being able to continue to expand the realm of what is possible is KEY to living the life you’re meant to live. A life that goes beyond the mundane, beyond the conventional, beyond the conveyor belt pumping out prefabricated lives.
So go wild with thinking about what’s possible! There’s nothing too big as you begin to condition your possibilities muscle. The bigger the better – because when you get into the realm of the fantastical you begin to see how small your view once was. And from there, the door is open to incredible things.
What ELSE is possible in your life?
Yours in wildness~~
Lisa
|
RSS Feed